{"id":483,"date":"2009-04-26T16:48:45","date_gmt":"2009-04-26T20:48:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/barbadosbouviers.net\/wordpress\/?p=483"},"modified":"2009-07-16T20:56:16","modified_gmt":"2009-07-17T00:56:16","slug":"humour-about-dog-shows-first-time-at-a-dog-show","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/barbadosbouviers.net\/wordpress\/humour-about-dog-shows-first-time-at-a-dog-show\/","title":{"rendered":"Humour about Dog Shows – First time at a dog show"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"Laughing<\/a><\/dt>\n
Laughing at a dog show<\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Here’s a report (unfortunately I don’t know who wrote the below but I saw it in a magazine)<\/p>\n

\n

First tme at a dog show, I’ll tell you quite plain.<\/p>\n

I’ll never, no never, go near one again.<\/p>\n

The breeder said “show him” when I bought my dog<\/p>\n

I showed him alright, the whole place was agog.<\/p>\n

They gave me a number, they gave me a pin,<\/p>\n

But I couldn’t bear to stick the thing in<\/p>\n

arrived at the righside to find we were first<\/p>\n

In the puppy class (this part is the worst)<\/p>\n

We marched in together as fast as we were able<\/p>\n

So I rushed to the shop, and bought some clear glue<\/p>\n

Then I stuck the card onto his back in the loo!<\/p>\n

We arrived at the Judge who said “up on the table”.<\/p>\n

This really surprised me, my skirt was quite tight<\/p>\n

And I just couldn’t make it, try as I might<\/p>\n

The judge looked quite worried, he said “Listen here,<\/p>\n

put the dog on the table, not you, my dear!”<\/p>\n

By now, I was trembling, I felt such a fool<\/p>\n

But said to myself ….”play it cool”<\/p>\n

“How old” said the judge, I heard quite clear<\/p>\n

Well really, I thought and said “Thirty next year”<\/p>\n

The steward, poor fellow, threw a kind of fit.<\/p>\n

He spluttered and coughed and his eyes ran a bit.<\/p>\n

“I’d have that cough seen to” I said when he finally stopped<\/p>\n

and then started again.<\/p>\n

“Once round the ring, dear, fast as you can”<\/p>\n

Said the judge, so I did.\u00a0 I just ran and ran.<\/p>\n

But when I arrived (out of breath I’ll admit)<\/p>\n

The judge said “your dog dear,”, I felt such a twit.<\/p>\n

Off once again, I kept my head bent<\/p>\n

Oh,\u00a0 the shame, my pup crouched, he just went and went<\/p>\n

A lady came running with bucket and spade<\/p>\n

With manure so spicy, has she got it made?<\/p>\n

We came back to the Judge, who said with a frown<\/p>\n

“Stand your dog” – I said “Please Sir, he’s not lying down”<\/p>\n

“You can take first place stand” he said. I said “ta”<\/p>\n

What a job I had getting that stand in the car.<\/p>\n

\ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Laughing at a dog show Here’s a report (unfortunately I don’t know who wrote the below but I saw it in a magazine) First tme at a dog show, I’ll tell you quite plain. I’ll never, no never, go near one again. The breeder said “show him” when I bought my dog I showed him […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":64,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[53],"tags":[58],"yoast_head":"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\t\n